


The Sun and The Moon

by kwonlegs



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Angst, Idk what happened, M/M, Soonhoon - Freeform, seungcheol and jeonghan is mentioned
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-21
Updated: 2017-02-21
Packaged: 2018-09-26 01:57:47
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,518
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9856820
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kwonlegs/pseuds/kwonlegs
Summary: The sun and the moon used to love each other...





	

**Author's Note:**

> So this was written way before I read the story about the sun and the moon in our textbook - and when I read it last week, I just thought it fit this story so much... 
> 
> Anyways, the last part where I wrote the story of the sun and the moon is all credits to our text book. I've altered some words and pronouns and I hope I don't get sued for plagiarism because I do not intend on claiming it as my own.
> 
> I hope you like it.

Jihoon woke up to a headache – not just any headache, but a skull splitting one that made him want to jump out of the window and land head first. He groaned and put a hand over his forehead. The sun was shining so bright, he can tell, because it hurt his eyes even though they were still closed.

Memories from last night – well, after he got drunk – was obviously a blur. The only thing he remembered was being invited by a friend to a party in which he attended because _‘Jihoon, you need to! Seungcheol will be there and who knows, maybe you’ll hit it off with him!’_ and because he was a crush-struck fool who loved to get his hopes up, he went. But instead of hitting it off with said crush, Choi Seungcheol, he might’ve hit other things and walls and other poor furniture in the house they were in. Damn. 

Jihoon let his mouth hang open, tongue out, to get rid of the bitter taste in his mouth. Seriously, how much did he drink last night? The alcohol’s taste didn’t seem to leave his mouth and it was starting to taste really disgusting he felt his insides turn. Just when he was about to sit up and run to the bathroom, he heard a groan right beside him. Jihoon perked up and suddenly all his senses were working and alert. 

Shit. He was too drunk to remember who he went home with.

He opened his eyes and surveyed the room, trying to keep the panic at bay. Yep the room was definitely not his nor his friends’. Also the clothes scattered on the floor were not helping him. 

_I’ve been here before, haven’t I?_

His thoughts were interrupted when realizations came to him.

Did he sleep with someone last night? Oh, God. Did they at least use protection? What the fuck.

Jihoon squeezed his eyes shut, tried to remember anything from the moment he downed shots that were given to him by people he didn’t know. Unfortunately, there were no memories right after that. 

He suddenly wanted to dig his own grave (literally) and bury himself. It was really frustrating and sleeping around really wasn’t his style and he is so disappointed with himself – 

The lump beside him stirred and Jihoon suddenly froze. He looked at the figure with his peripheral and silently prayed to God that whoever this person was: _“Please don’t wake up yet.”_

Jihoon sighed, relief washing over him when the figure stopped moving and he heard faint snores instead. But to his horror, the person beside him suddenly jolted up into a sitting position and lunged himself at Jihoon, causing him to fall back to the bed and hit his head in the headboard quite hard.

“Ow, fuck!” Jihoon, with great difficulty and a heavy asshole on top of him nuzzling the crook of his neck while murmuring something in a language only hung over people understood, tried to comfort the part of his head that he hit.

“Ow…” Jihoon tried to suppress a sob but failed. It hurt like someone just fucking hit him with a bat (and he didn’t know how it felt like to be hit with a bat but it’s probably this painful). He didn’t know if he was seeing stars or that was literally a bunch of glow in the dark stars, moon and sun in the ceiling?

Jihoon tried to get rid of the half-naked person (if it weren’t for the sheets covering his nether regions) on top of him but he was too comfortable making Jihoon his personal human couch that all of his effort just went to waste.

“Ow, fuck! Ugh!”

Jihoon rolled his eyes. He was done using force, so maybe some talking would suffice.

“Hey, listen,” Jihoon started, trying not to sound too strained with all the weight on top of him, “I’m sorry but could you like, ugh, get off me? I seriously can’t breathe.”

The person on top of him muffled something against his neck that he couldn’t quite understand. “What!?”

“No,”

Jihoon narrowed his eyes suspiciously after hearing the man’s voice and tried his hardest not to roll his eyes and kick the fuck out of this person, “Yeah, whatever. I can’t breathe. Also, we kind of had a one night stand, and this, this is probably something we shouldn’t be doing after such casual sex. I’m not sure though, did we even have sex?”

The person on top of him laughed, the sound vibrating against his skin and Jihoon’s suddenly felt a pang in his heart and he couldn’t understand why. 

“You still don’t beat around the bush, I see…” 

“What?”

At this point, Jihoon was already weirded out and was contemplating whether he should call the police or just punch this motherfucker’s ass to the ground. “Are you high or something?”

“Nah.”

“What the fuck are you?”

“I’m just curious if there’s glitter up my ass or your ass – oh, wait, no, I’m not a fairy so it’s probably just cum in your ass and glitter on mine. Hah! Fuck, my ass is going to be so fab. Beat that, Tinkerbell!”

At the mention of the word fairy, Jihoon froze and his breath got caught in his throat, his heart suddenly beating faster than ever. It didn’t help that the man then lifted his weight off of him and showed Jihoon his face.

Time stopped.

Now Jihoon understood the pain he suddenly felt.

“Shityoung?”

Soonyoung’s eyes widened for a moment and a smile of longing ghosted his lips but was suddenly replaced by a smirk. He then shamelessly removed the only thing that was covering up his dick. God, he never changed, still sleeping butt naked. Asshole. 

“Who are you calling Shityoung, Jerkhoon?”

Jihoon should be more shocked than pained. He missed him, he wouldn’t even try to lie.

“What are you gaping at? It’s not like it’s the first time we’ve seen each other’s dicks. You even had mine in your mouth last night and… four years ago.”

Soonyoung winked and got off the bed, walking to the bathroom, completely shameless with his buttnaked figure.

Those thighs were art, Jihoon used to say and tease him – but he shouldn’t really get side tracked and he should be getting himself out of this room, not ogling a fucking asshole. 

Jihoon chuckled dryly, “Still a bad liar, I see.”

He breathed in and out, all the panic, all the frustration and anger left him. There was no use feeling all those emotions when everything had already happened. As they say, the damage has been done, the least Jihoon could do is to ma up and get over it –

Jihoon was halted from tiptoeing and picking his clothes up from the floor when Soonyoung’s voice echoed throughout the apartment.

“Don’t shit around, Lee Jihoon. Put your clothes on but do not leave. We have some important things to discuss.”

 

 

Breaking up was hard but getting over the break up was probably the hardest. It wasn’t really the most peaceful separation, in Jihoon’s opinion. It was loud and chaotic and everyone probably heard them break a couple of things – precious ones – and exchange sharp and hurtful words that definitely wounded and scarred their hearts. 

_“I don’t need you in my life! I regret ever doing anything with you! I regret ever loving you, Kwon Soonyoung! I’m always chasing you! I’m always the one who has to adjust to everything! I’m working so hard to make this relationship work but a self-centered asshole like you is making it hard for me to do so!”_

It was not like any other break up, it was cliché but it wasn’t anyone’s fault. Maybe they just had the right love at the wrong time. Maybe they were too young to know the difference between infatuation and love. Maybe they were just each other’s confidant, shoulders to cry on. Two broken souls who thought they could heal each other but ended up stomping on the little pieces much harder, leaving each other more broken than ever.

Maybe they just weren’t meant to be. 

They were so desperate to love and be loved… so desperate. They became possessive and jealous – insecure, even – rotten emotions blinding them. The love that was supposed to heal, the love that was supposed to care became poison and it hurt them both.

Yes, they were lovers. Yes, they loved each other. But all of those were covered up with something else, and sadly, those ugly emotions had become more powerful than the laughter and the memories. 

It was beyond repair. They were beyond repair.

 

Jihoon sat idly on the couch, gently tapping his foot on the carpeted floor. He looked around the apartment and a little ache had crept its way up to his chest upon taking everything that was inside the room. That’s why everything felt so familiar… everything felt like home.

Used to.

Everything was what it was like before. The walls were of the same color he chose and he remembered him and Soonyoung fighting over it but in the end he still won and shut his boyfriend’s blabbering with a kiss that made Soonyoung groan in exasperation and sigh in satisfaction. 

Jihoon loved blue and so he wanted to paint the walls blue. Soonyoung hated blue, but because it was Jihoon, he then started to love blue.

Soonyoung got out of the spare room, all dressed with a simple white shirt and his pajamas. Jihoon sucked in a breath at the sight. The domesticity, the feel of home, the person he once called home, but he looked away when Soonyoung sat on the couch opposite him.

Jihoon wanted to smile as the memory came back to him.

The apartment was too big so they needed lots of chairs to fill the empty space, Soonyoung always argued this, thus the two huge couches.  He even argued that they had 11 friends all in all, who were loud and rowdy and they definitely needed a big couch to go rowdy on and Soonyoung then acted out a pillow fight happening which made Jihoon laugh his ass off. Also:

_“What if our family grew? Like we were planning for a baseball team, weren’t we? And what if our soccer team decides to keep the family genes going so they procreate? Jihoon? Jihoon? Are you getting all of this? Stop watching Nicki Minaj twerk, asshole! Okay, so yeah, soccer team means more chances of  procreation, more procreation means a bigger family and what does a big family need? Yes, you got that right, honey! A bigger couch!”_

Everything was nice – it was.

 

Soonyoung cleared his throat, hoping it would break the tension between them. It didn’t, but at least he got Jihoon to look at him.

“How – how have you been?”

Starting a conversation was something Soonyoung could pride himself at, but not with Jihoon. Not anymore.

This wasn’t the time when he was in the school cafeteria, screaming: _“Love at first sight is real!”_ while pointing and running to Jihoon.

This wasn’t the time when he was the young and naïve Kwon Soonyoung who kneeled in front of Lee Jihoon in the middle of the school cafeteria and asked him out because: _“This is my first time seeing a fairy and I think I love you,”_

This wasn’t the time when he had all his courage to strike a conversation with the most beautiful person he saw...

Not anymore. 

 “You mean when you left without a word?” Jihoon smiled, but it didn’t reach his eyes. “Well, I was a mess – a huge one. But now, I’m good.”

He shrugged and his tone didn’t carry any kind of grunge or accusations despite his words and it made Soonyoung’s heart ache. 

Jihoon’s now blond hair fell effortlessly to his eyes. He looked beautiful as ever, Soonyoung thought. He always heard people say that beauty fades, but not Jihoon’s. Definitely not Lee Jihoon’s and Soonyoung would bet his life for that.

“How about you?” Jihoon, surprisingly, asked back and Soonyoung shrugged and told Jihoon the most common lie.

There was a stretch of silence, neither spoke but Jihoon couldn’t help it. He had so many things he wanted to say, so many questions he wanted to ask but only one word came out and that was:

“Why?”

_Why have you come back?_

_Why are we doing this?_

_Why did you take me home?_

_Why did you lie that we had sex?_

_Why are we still talking?_

_Why do I still feel like crying in front of you?_

Soonyoung visibly froze, his mind going blank. Everything was becoming too heavy and Soonyoung suddenly wanted to run away again; to let Jihoon be, to just leave him alone, again. Why did he even come back, it was clear Jihoon did not need him, when he knew that Jihoon was doing well without him. Stupid, stupid Soonyoung. 

_“He’s moving on, Soonyoung.”_

_“But I’m not, Jeonghan-hyung.”_

_“It doesn’t mean you have to drag him with you! Look, Jihoon is all right now. Please, leave him be! Please let him live! You don’t know what he’s been through! You didn’t see how he almost ruined himself! He’s hurt! You were his first love, his first everything! God knows he loved you so much – maybe too fucking much that he destroyed himself in the process. Just leave him alone and let him live his life! Let him move on from you!”_

_“But hyung, I love him. Please believe me, I love him.”_

_“So why do you hurt each other every time?! Why?”_

Soonyoung felt the back of his eyes burn and suddenly emotions were overwhelming him.

_“I don’t know… I don’t know… But please, hyung. At least let me hear it from him, that he doesn’t love me anymore, that he doesn’t want us anymore. Then I’ll stop, please.”_

_“This is the last time I’ll ever help you with Jihoon, Soonyoung. There will be a party…_ ”

Jihoon was doing well; he didn’t need Soonyoung in his life. He didn’t need a problematic, self centered, narcissistic asshole who made every single thing about him.

Soonyoung remembered the break up. The anger, seeping to every fiber of his being, blinding him and making him see nothing but pitch black; the insecurity, the jealousy…

_“I worked hard for this relationship, too, Jihoon! Don’t you know that? I’ve worked my ass off for this relationship but you don’t see it! You never will, because you’re too busy with everything! I get home and I don’t even see you, I come home and I don’t even feel like I am!”_

Time was the issue, jealousy was the issue, insecurity was the issue until every single thing had become an issue and they were fighting over the most trivial things. It was ugly and it was beyond repair.

They were beyond repair.

 

Soonyoung realized how he and Jihoon would’ve stayed closer if they had become friends instead of lovers. They shared so many interests and they would’ve been better off talking about it in the school cafeteria sat opposite each other and not on the same bed looking at the glow in the dark stars, moon and sun that Soonyoung had insisted they put on the ceiling of their bedroom.

 

_“I love the moon.”_

_“I love the sun more.”_

_“I love you more.”_

At that point Soonyoung should’ve known how different they were from each other. 

 

It was blinding and overwhelming, all the emotions from anger to jealousy eating up every inch of Soonyoung and it was not good.

Jihoon was crying and Soonyoung was, too. They were throwing things, throwing the most brutal, most hurtful words… But nothing was more painful when the chaos stopped and the silence that engulfed the room was broken by Jihoon’s painfully small voice:

“I don’t want this anymore, Soonyoung. Let _us_ go.”

Hot tears rolled down Soonyoung’s cheeks and suddenly he was sobbing uncontrollably.

Oh, God, no. This was not how it should be. He was supposed to move on, let Jihoon go. Let them go. Let all the memories go, let Jihoon live his life. It wasn’t supposed to be like this. He wasn’t supposed to – 

“I love you, Jihoon… Oh, God… I love you. I still love you. I’m not supposed to after everything. I’m sorry! I am so sorry – oh, God…” 

Soonyoung was a crying mess, choking on his own spit and sobbing like a lunatic. The tears didn’t stop flowing even if he wanted them to, but it kept on streaming down his face and he didn’t know what to do. Jihoon was probably disgusted and angry with him, he really had to stop.

“Holy shit, Soonyoung,” the voice and the arms wrapped around him were equally strong but they didn’t hold any sharpness nor had the intent of hurting him. It was Lee Jihoon, all swear words with an underlying gentleness and Soonyoung sobbed some more. He missed him, he missed his shit fairy, his Jerkhoon, his first everything. He missed him s much he felt like he was going to die. 

“Shit, Soonyoung… Soonyoung, please don’t cry…”

Jihoon and Soonyoung were both a crying mess but they both melt in each other’s warmth and embrace – it was so painful how it never left, that despite how much they damaged each other they were still so ready to accept each other with open arms, calming their sobs and wiping their tears in the process.

The silence was back, but it was comfortable. They were now sitting on the floor, Jihoon with his back resting against the couch and Soonyoung still curled up to him. Jihoon pet his hair as small, uncontrollable sobs still left Soonyoung’s mouth. 

“You okay now?” Jihoon asked after quite a while and Soonyoung nodded against his chest. “You can talk to me now?”

“Yeah,” Soonyoung whispered and moved away from Jihoon, a sigh leaving him. “This is four years too late but I’m sorry. I’m sorry for everything…. There’s no excuse for it, I’m just – I’m really sorry. I know it’s going to be hard to forgive me but know that I would apologize until you do forgive me. I’m sorry for coming here, I’ve heard you’ve been well without me, I hope I haven’t ruined it by showing up. I’m sorry, you probably hate me now but I just – “

Jihoon nodded, but he was silently staring out of nowhere. “I’m sorry, too, and I will admit that the pain is still here, Soonyoung. But if you’re thinking that I’m blaming you for it, no, I’m not. I never will. You were one of the best things that happened to me and I would never, ever hate you. You taught me a lot of things. You taught me love, you taught me pain and I’m very thankful for that. If it weren’t for you I would’ve never known how blessed and strong I am. You were my laughter, my sorrow, my happiness, you were my everything and I would’ve loved for it to stay that way but –“ Jihoon’s mouth is pressed into a thin line, and tears were threatening to fall again “—but I guess things don’t always go the way we want them to. We were born to meet but never to be together, I suppose.”

Soonyoung’s breath got caught up in his throat and he suddenly felt numb.

It was clear to him now. Jihoon didn’t need to explain it any further.

“I understand,” Soonyoung stood up, biting his lower lip and puffing up his chest to keep a strong front. But Lee Jihoon knew him so well like the back of his hand, and it would only take one glance for him to know that Soonyoung was just trying not to break down again.

Jihoon stood up and faced him, looking a little bit alarmed. “Soonyoung?”

Soonyoung spoke, his voice breaking but he will keep himself together, for himself and for Jihoon. “So I guess, this – this is goodbye?”

Jihoon glanced down, hands pulling on the hem of his sweatshirt. He didn’t speak for a few moments but Kwon Soonyoung knew Lee Jihoon well, too well that he could close his eyes and know that he would not change his mind.

“Yes, Soonyoung. Yes, it is.” 

 

 

 

**The Moon left the Sun**

He found himself lying on the same bed and staring at the ceiling… the sun and the moon.

**The Sun realized his mistake but it was too late, the moon was gone.**

His tears never stopped… and so did his love for the one he used to lie with on this bed…

**Since then, the sun followed the moon, and they went round and round the earth.**

He’s moved on, he saw. He had a new life, a new love... 

**The star follows the moon once in a while**

He is happy…

**And a shooting star sometimes flies his way**

And if Jihoon is happy… He knows he will be, too. 

**It is the sun’s messenger asking the moon to return to him.**

Someday.

**Author's Note:**

> Hi, hi, hi! Please tell me your honest thoughts. Thank you for reading too.


End file.
